Just Breathe
by xonceinadream
Summary: After everything, Vision checks on her to make sure that she's alright. He helps her sleep when he finds out that she's not.


She senses him before she hears anything and instinctively she knows who it is. There's something in her that knows his presence, similar to the way that she could always recognize when her brother was in the room with her. It scares her sometimes, the way that she's so in tune with him but she tries to make excuses, pretends that it's just because he's not quite human (just like she's not quite human anymore).

"I thought we'd talked about you coming in when the door isn't open," Wanda tries to joke, her voice rough from the few hours of sleep that she's managed to get in between tossing and turning.

Vision stands in front of her, no clothes anymore. Instead, all he wears is the cape that he wore on Sokovia (when they dropped buildings on people - when she lost her brother - when Vision rescued her when she really wanted to die). There's something akin to amusement on his face, perhaps it could be called a smile if he didn't look so grave. "I needed to see that you're alright."

That makes Wanda sit up, her blanket falling down her chest and she scoots up so that she can look at him better. This isn't home but Wanda isn't sure that she ever had one. She had decorated the room that she'd had at the Avengers compound, put up pretty knick-knacks and things that could matter to her but it had never really felt like where her heart was. This room in Wakanda is nice, fancy, comfortable, but not home. She stays silent, unsure how to respond to that. After all, despite any apologies, they're still enemies right now, aren't they?

As if he knows what she's thinking, Vision seems to deflate. His body becomes less tense and he glances around before moving to sit down at the chair by the desk. Wanda knows that he doesn't have to sit but they'd talked about things such as intimidating people and likeability. Vision seems even more human than her sometimes just because he tries so hard. "Steve told me that he sent a letter to Tony."

Vision inclines his head. "He did. And Mr. Stark passed along the message that everybody was alright. I had to see for myself. This has been hard for you."

"It's been hard for all of us," Wanda responds, surprised by the prick of tears in her eyes. Crying isn't a luxury that she can afford when she's around other people. It's only very late at night does she let herself cry, burying her face in the pillow so that nobody can hear her and attempt to comfort her. She doesn't want comfort. "It's not as bad for me as the others. I don't have a home to go back to. But Clint and Scott. They have a family and kids and it's hard for them right now until they can safely get home."

Her harsher than she intended words cause Vision's lips to twitch up into what she's sure is a smile this time. That surprises her (isn't he always surprising her though - always doing little things to make _her_ smile when she least expects it). "I believe that a solution is being worked out for them. Mr. Stark feels regret for his role in everything."

"So does Steve I think. Regret doesn't mean that they'd change it, though. They're both stubborn and they're both wrong in their own ways," Wanda says, resentfulness bubbling up in her and she tries to suppress it. She knows that it would be so easy to lose herself in the anger and the despair and she refuses. If only for her brother, she refuses to let herself give in. "I don't want to talk about that. The battles, the… the imprisonment."

Wanda still hates how often she's been imprisoned lately. Even here, where she's a guest of a royal family, she still feels like she's in prison. She couldn't leave if she wanted to. Her eyes catch the clock on the wall and she frowns when she realizes that it's already nearly morning.

"We don't have to talk about anything. I didn't expect for you to still be awake. I had planned on making sure you were alright, talking with Mr. Rogers and leaving again before you knew I was here."

Although he says it in such a matter-of-fact way, it still makes her heart hurt. That's a feeling that she refuses to think about and she files it away for thought perhaps tomorrow night. It hurts to see him and to talk but she's glad that she had a chance. Although he's not quite human ( _neither is she_ , she says to herself), she's closer to him than perhaps to anybody. "I haven't been sleeping well."

"Have you been doing the breathing exercises the way that Dr. Ross advised?" Vision asks.

Wanda shakes her head but stays silent. The honest truth is that she hasn't done much of anything in the weeks that they've spent in Wakanda. She's walked around like a ghost, barely touched food. Steve offers to talk to her, Natasha has a firm but still caring tone that she uses, Clint is naturally a father and is a solid and constant support, and Scott is the only one who can almost always make her smile with his jokes. T'Challa scares her, honestly, and she avoids him. Everybody else, the many faces of people she doesn't know, are ignored, startled eyes flitting past each person who has the potential to hurt her.

"Lay down," Vision advises and Wanda just barely hesitates before she lays back. Her heart is pounding now as she remembers anxiety attacks after her brother's death. Everybody had dealt with their own problems and everybody had had their own way of dealing but Vision had been the one who had slowly helped her put together the pieces again.

She closes her eyes, her head resting on the pillow as she hears the scratch of the chair being dragged across the floor next to her bed. Vision's hand is cold against her forehead and she has to resist the urge to press up against it as he soothes his fingers through her hair.

"Just breathe," Vision murmurs, his voice as comforting as he can make it. Wanda does as requested, focusing on timing her breathing with the movement of his hand. It makes her think of his hand against her arm in the kitchen, telling her that she's not allowed to leave. It makes her think of his arms, pulling her to safety on Sokovia, and then holding her on the tarmac of the airport. "Stop thinking. Breathe, Wanda."

If only it were that easy. If only breathing would make everything go away. Pietro used to hold her before, used to pull her close and touch her with comforting, able hands. His death feels like her fault as well late at night. Her eyes stay closed, though, knowing that dwelling on everything won't help. Crying won't bring back her brother and screaming won't help her cause. It doesn't stop a few tears from leaking down her cheeks.

Vision's other hand reaches up, his fingers infinitely more gentle than they have any right to be as they brush away her tears. "I'm sorry that I made things worse for you. I… care about you greatly in a way that I haven't cared about anybody before. In a way that I didn't realize was possible for me to care about somebody. I only wanted to keep you safe."

"But if you must give up your freedom to be safe, I don't know that I would choose safety," Wanda responds, her voice soft as she opens her eyes again to look at him. There's emotion in his eyes, emotions that she doesn't recognize, that looks foreign in eyes such as his. He's a robot, a machine, and yet, he just admitted that he cared for her. "I have lived in safety and I have lived with freedom and I know which I prefer."

"The human drive still eludes me. The desire for things such as freedom in lieu of safety is interesting but, to me, misguided," Vision says gently. If it was anybody else, Wanda would argue but she can see why he would think so, with his limited grasp of emotions.

Instead of responding, because she doesn't want to argue with him, not while he's being so gentle with her and helping her to fall asleep, she changes the subject. "Is, um, Mr. Stark okay?" For a moment, it's on the tip of her tongue to call him 'Tony' but she's not sure that she's close enough to him for that. His feels like the biggest betrayal of all since he was the one who so wanted the Accords.

"He is as well as to be expected. I believe that he's been in contact with Ms. Potts again and that's been helping him immensely," Vision says and Wanda nods, her eyes fluttering as she tries to keep eye contact before they close.

Wanda breathes deeply, thinks about how his hands feel against her skin, how the fingers that were brushing away tears are simply stroking her cheek. "You wouldn't think about staying? I mean… just for a while?" There's no reason for him to stay, not even a flimsy one that she can think of and so her voice dies out near the end, barely forcing out the last words.

Vision looks at her with pity, the emotion out of place on his normally expressionless face. He opens and then closes his mouth, something that she's never seen him do and then, her breath catches as he leans in, pressing his lips to her forehead. It's gentle, sweet and makes her heart begin pounding much too hard. "I'd like to. For you, Wanda. But I cannot. My place is with Mr. Stark. He needs me at the moment, more than ever."

The words are on the tip of Wanda's tongue before she can even think of them. She needs him. She can't sleep without him and honestly, she misses him. She misses his quick wit, his gentle touch, his easy smiles. She misses the way that he could sit and talk with her for hours, the way that he seemed to notice when she wasn't feeling well and felt like the only one who wasn't too busy to care about her for a while.

"Please don't make this hard, Wanda," Vision says, while Wanda contemplates her words. She closes her eyes tight, thinks about when she was a child and Pietro would rock her back and forth, telling her it was all going to be okay. It was never okay. Nothing in her life has ever been okay and she feels shaken by it. "I will see you again. This isn't a goodbye. Our lives are meant to correspond. I don't believe, the way that humans do, of fate or destiny. But I do believe that we will be reunited soon enough."

"And if not?" Wanda asks, before she can help herself. She feels young. She constantly tries to tell everybody that she can handle herself, that she's not a child. She's been through so much that it's not even a lie. After everything, she feels that she deserves more than to be treated with kid gloves. There's something about Vision that makes her feel like he won't judge her. There's a quiet protectiveness that doesn't make her feel smothered, when he's not locking her up anyway.

Vision's thumb just skims across her lip, his eyes looking deep into her own. "Then I will find you again," Vision says, his words a promise. Wanda feels them as if they're a physical touch, wrapping her in the safety of them. She wonders whether he would've come for her, if Steve hadn't. Part of her doesn't want to know the answer.

"Vision…"

"Get some rest, Wanda. I'll stay with you until you do," Vision says softly, going back to the gentle stroking of her hair. Wanda hadn't even realized that he'd stopped.

Parts of her want to argue but she knows better than that. Instead, her eyes fall closed because she's not going to waste this opportunity. After she's asleep, she thinks that she feels the phantom brush of lips against her forehead again but in the morning, he's gone.

It's the most restful night of sleep that she's had in a while and it makes her chest hurt, trying to hold in sobs. She holds onto the fact that he said they'll see each other again, a beacon of hope that she can cling to when things get hard.

And eventually, as promised, they're reunited.


End file.
